Loosing

"I just don't know if you're good enough anymore."

or

"I just don't know if we're good enough anymore."

I'm not really sure what my mother said. I don't think it matters. I'm tired of all this talk about expectations. She is good enough and she can stop telling me that I'm not, she is doing far more damage than good. No wonder I need help finding myself. Can I blame her for that? Poor Robin, I should have told her about my self-concept. I should have told her this would happen. I feel pathetic. I wish conversations with the people who love me would help. Merp. 

As if this is what it sounds like.

I've been at home for a minute now, laying in the sunshine of your blue eyes. I've been dancing with you to the sound of a poor hipster's guitar for almost a month, but despite foreign language that your body speaks to me I still smile as if I understand you. I haven't been this confused in a while. My gut aches with shame and I can't tell if this despicable game is even fun for you anymore. I wish time could heal everything. I don't think I've ever wanted to sink or swim this much. I'm in the ocean and I can't find anyone who might hear the echo in my voice that would bounce off the cliffs of my broken heart.

Well isn't this ironic?