Stupid.

You posion my thought process. I can't think around you and I start to sound like an idiot. I get this weird feeling that you dislike me. I can't stand it and it makes my heart ache, literaly it is painful for me. I just don't know what to do.

Goodbye

Goodbyes are like the sunset. Beauty engulfs the moment that you can capture only once. Yet you long for another day to live so you will see the sun set again. Goodbyes are a sign of significance in relationships. I wish only to see you again. Goodbye does not mean forgetting; goodbye means thank you and I hope we might meet again. The sun rises. The sun sets. A different beauty everyday. <3

I'm blank.

I need something. I can't figure out just what I need. I just know that something feels like it is missing again. I just don't want to be this blank anymore. I feel so empty and I don't know why.

I think it's love that I want. Love for anything. Love for God I think. I think that the faith is missing again, I need him. I need to feel him in my life. I know that some people aren't spiritual and it is fine with me if they are happy that way, believing in science and that is all. I just can't seem to fit my head around not worshiping God. I think I'm floating some where between Catholicism and Christianity. I'm afraid to walk away from the church. I'm not even sure if that is honestly what I want. I just know that I need more God. I need to love him more. I need to feel that love. I need to live in that.

What you feel is wht you are, and what you are is beautiful. <3

I'm still scared.

I have no idea what to do. I believe that everyone has a purpose and that perhaps she is a broken road of sorts. Being that I'm the broken one and she is simply a beautiful path. The most beautiful path, that I want to follow to the end. Alas, I cannot because it is becoming clearer to me that this path is for someone else  to take and of course I will have to blaze my own.

I do apprciate the beauty though, and how far she has brought me.

Ready. Set. Go.

Remember all that personal growth I've been forcing on myself. It's show time. = ) Let it be known that I am a traveler. Life is my journey. Destination: unknown.

Pushing Myself.

I've been pushing myself as much as I can. Pushing myself to workout, pushing myself to talk to more people, pushing myself to let go of my insecurities and pushing myself to try new things. Things are going well for right now. I mean besides the money situation, I officially don't have enough money to buy my social psychology book..I've charged far too much money on my account for school. Spending six hundred dollars in textbooks means I'm economically challenged for the rest of the semester. Oh the ups and downs of college life.

I started the whole teaching assistant bit for Introduction to Gender Studies.I had my first official office hour today, I'm quite excited about the whole thing. The whole subject is very fascinating. I never realized how much the norms society are influenced by gender. People fascinate me so, I am perplexed by the nature of human beings. Issues of gender are exceptionally interesting. I sometimes try to analyze myself and what people think of me. My mother says I have definitely taken on a masculine nature despite my strong feminist values.Being that I value what she thinks I always analyze what she says. Sometimes I think that I might be different. I think then that life as a process calls for evolution and I need not feel bad for evolving.

To the girl who forgot she needed me a little.

Dear Friend,

I can't tell you if we are growing apart or if we might just be drifting away from any mutual interest we may have had. I miss you. I mean I see you everyday, and we still laugh and hang out for maybe five minutes at a time when I ask you to listen to me. I can't remember the last time that you just came over to tell me something without being asked. I don't remember the last time you wanted to tell me something just to tell me about it. I'm not sure we even have mutual friends, sometimes I feel like you want me to know you could get on without me, that I have no actual significance  in your everyday.

I want to drown in music and forget that I still need you in my life.

Your friend? .

Hailey

Yesterday Tara  told me that I helped her believe in love. It's funny how much I want to do with my life, but most of all I just want people to know that love is a behavior and is the most fulfilling thing I have ever experienced. I believe in it above all else.Love is  what I want to do for the rest of my  life. Love. &lt;3

Under the Influenece.

I am constantly overwhelmed by the large number of good people that walk in and out of my life on a regular basis. I am excited to go home and see all the wonderful people that are in Marquette. This winter break was far more enjoyable than the last one as a result of the presence of certain people. My life is constantly changing for the better. I am always living under the influence of the spectacular people who inspire me. I'm excited to get back to Marquette, but I will be forever grateful for the awesomeness of people everywhere.

Soon i will find the other half of my heart. <3

Service.

Graduate school? The Peace Corps.? TOMS? Missions Team?

I know after I graduate with my B.S. from Northern I will be spending time doing some serious service. I haven't decided how yet, of course. The peace Corps however, pays off my student loans and nearly pays for a master's degree at the same time. This of course is looking like an awesomely affordable way to do what I want to do.Right now I'm simply weighing all the options.

"To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity."  ~ Douglas Adams

Whatever it is, you can bet I'll be doing it for the right reasons. <3

Taylor Mali Typography

Taylor Mali Typography

I found this on the Facebook wall of one of my appealingly intellectual friends. I think the poem is brilliant and I do desire to be articulate enough to explain my beliefs with conviction.