I Love this City

Seth and may are coming back to Marquette ;) I think  this could be just what I need.

Grow,Tree. Grow.

Text to my mother on  May 9, 2012:

Today marks a year since I "came out" to you. I feel as if we have both grown significantly since that time. Please know that I am thankful to have you in my life and know that you love me. I love you.

Text from my mother later that day:

Thank-you sweetie. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and I never try to take that blessing for granted. You and Boo mean the world to me.

I am and always have been my own rock, but without strong people by my side I am unsure just how much I would be able to handle.

I  would like to  to salute myself for gathering the courage to do what I did then. I  keep listening to May Erlewine's Love Labor Album over and over again. I really cannot believe how much her  music has gotten me through, like back when the waters were not so calm with my mother and through the disappointments and victories of last semester. The lyrics that keep resounding in my head speak to how my soul can grow if I tell myself the truth. I just want to applaud myself how honest I have been with my own character as of lately. I am doing truly well.

Merp.

"Let's talk about it." The words I use all the time when hat I really mean is, "Let's talk about you." My other personal expression."It's fine." When I say that what I really mean is, " Let's talk about all the people that are effecting me in ways that are more about them than about me."

Here is how I really feel.

I cannot believe that we are this close. I am one of those floating on he river of friendship until I drown kind of people, and I really can't tell you how rough the waters are. If I thought rivers could make waves this one would. The current  is incredible. I pulls  closer to the people that I love and I can't stop it try as I might.

Again with the confidence.

If my twitter said what I really wanted it to it might say:

I just ate a very large piece cake. #whatwasithinking

Alas, I really shouldn't worry about it that much should I? But I do don't I? Isn't that a hard hitting reality about my perception of myself. I just want to write an apology letter to my body, and tell her how much I appreciate her putting up with all of my bullshit. She is so much stronger than me.