A Sad Story.

I called him last night and as the phone was ringing I wrote dramas in my head about what this conversation might sound like.

"I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate the my thoughts are running laps around the same damn scene that doesn't include anything  but the monster you have become in my subconscious".

"What?"

"You remember don't you? Because I certainly do. Everyday I can't help but think about the things I can't say to anyone who would understand. I hate you. I think most of all I hate that I don't always hate you, but I want you to go on thinking you disgust me. What you did does make my insides want to jump out of my stomach. I hate that sometimes I remember saying things I thought I would never regret. I hate that I remember how fat your bottom lip is or what I thought I wanted before you decided to take everything from me."

"I'm sorry"

"I decided to forgive you a long time ago and I won't forget that no matter how many nightmares this monster provokes. I just want you to know that you do not deserve to know anything about me. You, almost lover, are my inter hatred. and that is something you may never be able to truly let go of,but I refuse to let it suffocate my life. I can save myself."

Alas no answer.