Just in case I'm not enough of a freak already...

 I want to hate him for her. I want to physically break him down and watch him beg. I wonder if she does too.I think that if I ever see him again I might just take his ass down.I want to hate him for her too; I don't even know him and I would beat him to a pulp if she said  I could.It's funny how you can do for others what you won't do for yourself.  I remeber being able to weep about it.I can't bring myself to cry real tears about it. I haven't done that in forever. The tears that don't exist make me feel like it doesn't either. I wish they could make me feel like you don't exsist. I wish that your name wasn't in my phone, but I don't want to have to explain to anyone why it isn't there. I avoid hanging out with you like Brett Farve avoids a Packers Game. I can put the miles between us but you'll always be waiting when it's game time. I do not want to play these games anymore. I will gladly retire that number before you have chance to manipulate me again. Remember when we were on the same team you were constiently protecting my blind-side and then all of a suden all you wanted to do was score. I haven't really practiced the defense before. You tackled me down and now soul is sore. It weighs heavy becuse I battled myself justifying your actions...everyone's a sinner. Its' bones shatter with every memory of your lips on mine and every reminder of the taste of the word no being bitter.


Venting. Winter break is coming. Fuck.